2017
Events January * January 3 - Counterpunch, Dust Devil, Seaspray, and Shockwave travelled down to the Cybertron Underworld to seek out the knowledge of Vector Sigma. In spite of clever diversionary efforts by Counterpunch, the Decepticons were almost overwhelmed by Centurion Droids... until they were suddenly called off by Dust Devil. * January 17 - "Visit to Vector Sigma" - Seaspray encounters the legendary super-computer Vector Sigma! * January 19 - "DC Under Attack" - Barbara Walker reports on Cobra's attack on the US capitol. * January 20 - John MacLeod was sworn in as the 45th and current president. Jan 23 - Inauguration Joe Schmo appears outside of MacLeod Towers, backdropped by what appears to be the swearing in of the new President. "We are here outside of MacLeod towers where President John MacLeod has just been sworn in after giving his inaugural address. As we know, the inauguration had to be moved due to the attack on Washington. President MacLeod has completed his swearing in and wanted to make some additional comments as to the recent attack. We go live to the newly sworn in President now." :The camera pans to the President standing at a podium, "My fellow Americans. As I stated in my previous address...now is the time for action, not empty words or promises. As you know, terrorists have attacked our nations capital. The great men and women of our military are holding them off but this just goes to show the failures of the previous administration. Terrible. Just terrible. An absolute disaster. I promise that as your President I am going to strengthen our military and intelligence assets to where things like this won't be able to happen. It's going to be big league. Absolutely HUGE. We will drive these terrorists out and we will wipe them off the face of this planet. God bless you and God Bless America!" :"Well folks, there you have it. Strong words from our new president. And now to the scores of the galactic cricket cup...." January 25 - "DC Falls to Cobra" Washington, DC falls into Cobra's hands. January 26 - "Encounter with Jetfire and Snaptrap" Cyclonus encounters Seacons and an Autobot at Silent Grill. February * 1 February - "One of the Family" - Major Bludd goes to Mexico City to find the first Hologram on his list: Raya. * February 02 - "Hiding in DC" - Sneak-Peek is discovered at his observational post in DC. * February 06 - "Engines Beneath Kalis" - Megatron tasks Nemesis to restore the planetary engines beneath Kalis. * February 7 - Return to L.A. - Raya and Major Bludd, holographically disguised as Vipers, move through Los Angeles toward Starlight Mansion. On their way, they encounter a couple of curious characters... * 9 February - "A Holographic Homecoming" - Raya and Major Bludd arrive back at Starlight Mansion and reunite with Kimber and Taria and meet, or re-meet, the tiny Autobot Tonka. * 10 February - "Rio Arrives" - The Holograms' one-time manager, Rio Pacheco, arrives at Starlight Mansion. * February 13 - "Do As I Say and Not As I Do" - Dust Devil and Zetar search for Vector Sigma. * February 20 - "Spidey-Sense Tingling" - Dust Devil opens up to Spike Witwicky. * 20 February - "Care For A Sandwich?" - Rio discovers Major Bludd in one of the Starlight Mansion's kitchens. * February 24 - "A Surprise Pest" - Dust Devil stumbles upon Megatron's plans beneath Kalis. * February 26 - "Roof Encounter" - Lowdown takes a shot at Cobra Commander. * February 27 - "Good News for Cybertron" - A mysterious pulse has positive effects on Cybertron. March * March 1 - "It's... the Bishop!" - Bishop escapes the destruction of Kalis. * March 1 - "Whistling a Jaunty Tune" - Dr. Mindbender has X bring in his portable Brainwave Scanner to have some fun with Angel. * March 15 - "Return to Earth" - Typhoon consoles Spike over decisions he'd made. * March 21 - "Assault on Iacon" - Trypticon launches an assault on Iacon. * March 21 - "Epilogue: The Death of Zetar" - Bishop makes friends. Mar 25 - Navy OTTERS? Someone around the PIT has put magnetic signs over all the doors that formerly said Navy SEALS, and now it says Navy OTTERS, with an additional post-it that says 'sorry, budget cuts :(' 29 March - "The Biggest Threat An Incinerator gets curious about the real condition of Starlight Mansion. April * April 10 - "Buster Makes a Friend" - Buster encounters someone looking for him on campus. * April 13 - "Isn't a Sagaie an African Spear?" - Buster and Chance investigate a strange vehicle reported on the UO campus. * April 13 - "Six Feet Under" - Kimber comes across Bludd while he's digging a grave. * April 24 - "Nevada Population Health Study" - Extensive Genetics teams up to help a population study. * 25 April - "To Murder Is Human" - Synergy requests a talk with Major Bludd. * April 26 - "How a Resurrection Really Feels" - Dust Devil recruits Typhoon and Spike to return to the depths of Cybertron, near Vector Sigma, to place the forgotten Autobot Zetar in his final resting place. However, being that it's Dusty who's running this show, there is always more to meet the eye to this pretty straightforward request. * April 30 - "Goodbye, Spike Witwicky" - Dust Devil and Typhoon say goodbye to Spike Witwicky as he heads home from Cybertron. * April 30 - "Returning Home" - Spike returns home from his visit to Vector Sigma. May * May - "Free Me" - Angel tries to escape Cobra's control. * May 01 - "A Good Kid" - DJ Faireborn and Spike Witwicky talk in Autobot City about DJ's prospects for summer employment. * May 3 - "The Return of Zetar" - Zetar returns, to Bishop's surprise and disbelief. * May 3 - "Bishop Interview" - Bishop interviews Megatron in Triax. * May 4 - "Backblast and Cuffs" - Cuffs visits Backblast in his sniper's nest. * May 12 - "Valuable Prisoners" - Rartorata visits Snaptrap in the brig of The Hatemaker. * 5/12 - "The Gathering Swarm - First Contact" - A team of Autobots on a deep-space salvage mission have come across an object floating through space. It appears at first to be an escape pod covered in Decepticon symbols, but strangely designed for long range flight. What they find inside is an unstoppable creature that holds loyalty to neither faction, but only The Swarm. * May 17 - "DC Recon" - G.I. Joe travel to Washington, DC, to size up the Cobra occupation. May 22 - The Lurking Terror :We interrupt your regularly scheduled programs to bring you this late-breaking announcement. Terror! Absolute Terror! Steve was right there, man. And then he was gone. His last words were, "Heyooooooo!" It was a night just like tonight. The clouds were heavy, black, and pendulous. Where, oh where, had my little lamb gone? I see you quiver with antici-... :...-pation. When I found him again, he was a shell of a man. He couldn't even say, "Heyo." Something scared him out of his wits! It was down below... deep within. It was... THE LURKING TERROR! May 26 - "Can I Admit Something to You?" Angel opens up to Lowdown in the brig. May 30 - Decepticon Traitors Mech 1: Yeah, man, no kiddin'. Geloid Lubricant all over him. His assistant walked out an' never came back. Mech 2: No slag? Hey, speakin' a' things walkin' away, I heard tha Dominicons left the Decepticons. Mech 1: Yeah? What happened? Mech 2: I dunno, somethin' about their leader pickin' a fight with Megatron an' kickin' his aft from Tarn ta Calyhex. Mech 1: That's slaggin' crazy. I don't buy it. Mech 2: 'ey, ya don't gotta believe me. Just watch yer back around the Rust Sea. June Jun 06 - Ruckus on Monacus :Total Carnage Entertainment billed it as The Ruckus on Monacus, and they couldn't have been more right. Newcomer Fireclaw was taking a shot at the title of Grand Champion, when a trio of unidentified Cybertronians broke into the Galactic Gladiators' arena. While two of them took down the arena's security systems, their apparent leader made an appearance on the battlefield, incapacitating reigning champion Gathros. While this mech remains unidentified, he and Fireclaw apparently had some former association. With security and restraint systems shut down, the gladiators proceeded to run amuck against security forces. Fortunately, all spectators were able to make it safely out of the stadium, and no civilian casualties have been reported. Fireclaw and his associates, in addition to an undisclosed number of gladiators, remain at large. July * July 3 - "Hast du gehört...?" - Rumors swirl about Starscream's choke-slam of Optimus Prime. * July 12 - "BAT Command Infiltration" - Mainframe and Major Bludd infiltrate a BAT installation to try to free Los Angeles from Cobra control. Jul 29 - Cobra Shrink Needs Help? Conversation overheard between Big Shot and Gargoyle, Interrogator's gunners. :Big Shot looks around nervously, which is odd for the Californian, and says, "I think he's losing it. :Gargoyle also looks around nervously, his face falling from its normally contemplative state, and says, "I know. he's drinking insane amounts of coffee and talking to himself." :He's never talked to himself, and what about all the other weirf stuff he's been doing?," Big Shot sighs :"I know," Gargoyle says with a nod,"He sent me in disguise for some Adderall. He didn't even write a prescription, just told me to rob the place if I needed to." :Big Shot says, "What's with the Adderall?" :Gargoyle Looks around again, real carefully, and says quietly, "I looked it up. It calms people who need it, but makes those who don't energised and hyperalert." :"Shit!", Big Shot says. :The pair notice another Mamba crew coming and nod at each other as they resume their usual demeanors. The crew salute as they pass. :Big Shot says, "We better get some sleep...We're going to need all we can get..." :The two move off. August * August 06 - "Planning" - The Autobots meet in Encore's Distillery to discuss their plans to disrupt the completion of the Decepticons' mega-refinery in Toraxxis. * August 06 - "Mainline Rescue" - The Swarm pay the Quintessons a visit. * August 09 - "It's Alive!" - Optimus Prime recovers from his near-death at Megatron's hands. * August 09 - "Meeting in the Oval Office" - Cobra Commander gives orders to Interrogator and Over Kill. * August 23 - "Talking About Dad" - Buster talks to Ratchet about Sparkplug. September Sep 04 - CRN News report: Rescue-RATS? :Towards the end of a news report detailing damage done by the hurricane and flooding, the newscaster turns to another camera, and then smiles. "And in other news, a family of three has been found alive and well in the ruins of their collapsed home today - thanks to some rats!" A cartoon rat appears in a little cut-away window behind him. "Over now to our correspondent on scene, Ronald Soak." :Ronald is wearing a thick jacket and rough-weather gear. Behind him, there are the ruins of a three-floor house. "Thank you, Andrea. We've all seen the wider damage caused by the hurricane, with large areas that have been flooded out but, as the Harrisons found, the high ground isn't always safe! Shortly after the hurricane hit, their house collapsed around them because the ground had been washed out from underneath. They had been trapped for several days, and they weren't sure how much longer they could last. :"Luckily, however, a guardian angel was in the area. The tools of his trade? Giant rats, normally used to smell out mines." :He turns to the house, pointing out paw-prints in the mud. "Apparently, as well as mines the rats can sniff out helpless people trapped in their homes. We recorded this footage as we came in to airlift the family out." :A GI Joe 6-wheeled truck sits at a haphazard angle in the mud next to a collapsed house. Several extremely large rats are swarming over the building, being overseen by a man wearing orange gloves to help him guide the aircraft down. From this distance, the only clear details are his dark skin and GI Joe armour. Once the pilot has spotted him, he points in through the window, then pulls up a balaclava to hide his face. :He guides the helicopter down, then runs back to the building and moves some rubble. A man, a woman, and a teenager, covered in mud, climb through the gap he makes. The masked individual ushers them onto the helicopter and then backs away to let it clear off. He's seen making hand-signals to the rats as the helicopter departs. :Ronald appears back on screen. "When we returned here to talk to him, they were gone. We spoke to the US Army office, and got no response. Speaking to the men on the ground, the mysterious pied piper is apparently called 'Sinatra', and he's on secondment to the US Army from the African NGO 'Super Rats', which provides both mine-sweeping and tuberculosis hunting Gambian pouched rats. Back to you in the studio, Andrea." September 05 - "Of Rats and Men" We're from the government. We're here to help. September 11 - "Decepticon Royal Rumble" Infighting continues among the Decepticons. September 12 - "Autobot Attack on Toraxxis" After drugging the Decepticons with an energon additive that made them attack each other, the Autobots move in to capture the Toraxxis mega-refinery. September 15 - "Totally Not a Brainwave Scanner" Psyche-Out tests out his new equipment on Angel. September 16 - "Another Session" Angel goes back into the Memory Monitor. September 16 - "Welcome Back" Colton welcomes Sinatra back to the Pit. September 28 - "Dreadnok Attack" Cobra has unleashed the Dreadnoks on America, and only G.I. Joe can (maybe) stop them. October Oct 09 - Candygram at the White house :At least the USPS is still delivering despite the chaos in the United States. That being said, nobody really knows if the bag of gummy dicks delivered to the White house is for Cobra Commander or the Duly Elected President Of The United States. Or if it matters. October 10 - "Instructions for Interrogator" Cobra Commander prepares Interrogator for big changes in Russia. October 10 - "Assassination Attempt" Zandar makes an attempt on Vladimir Putin's life. Oct 18 - Rumors from Russia RUMOR HAS IT In response to rumors that Vladimir Putin may have been killed, Russian Spokesperson and personal loser of the Cold War to Rocky Balboa, Ivan Drago says "If he dies...he dies." October 27 - "A Quiet Storm" The beginnings of a beautiful friendship... November * November 01 - "Imploring Shockwave" - Acid Storm and Banshee bring their proposal to Shockwave. * November 2 - "Hook Delivery" - Rumours spread about Hook's unconventional return to the Decepticons. * November 5 - Megatronus is freed from his interdimensional prison by cult leader Rartorata, with the help of Snaptrap's Seacons. * 12/11 - "Banshee Unt Viper" - Viper visits Banshee at her revetment outside DHQ. * November 14 - "Spike Interview" - Mel interviews Spike in Autobot City. * November 22 - "Snaptrap Interlude" - Rartorata negotiates a ride. * November 22 - "Crosscut's Journal" - Crosscut tries his hand at journalling. Nov 26 - Things disappearing at the Pit Small items have begun disappearing at the GI Joe HQ, primarily around the living quarters. Keys, small pieces of paperwork, tools, food, medals and similar things are reportedly vanishing - although, nothing that looks like it might actually be important has gone missing. All signs point to something small and furry being responsible. November 29 - "Ideas Presented" Acid Storm and Banshee present their ideas to Shockwave. December * December 03 - "Aboard the Disco Star" - The Fallen invades the Disco Star. * December 08 - "Aboard The Hatemaker" - The Fallen helps Snaptrap get ahead. * December 18 - "It'll Be Fine" - Crosscut and Spike discuss the possibility of a Decepticon attack. * December 18 - "Attack on Autobot City" - The Decepticons launch an attack on Autobot City. * December 20 - "Controlling the Narrative" - Megatron makes an offer... and a threat. * December 20 - "This is a Decepticon Propaganda Network broadcast for: Humanity!" - Banshee adds her carrot to Megatron's stick. * December 21 - "The Autobots stand with you" - Spike Witwicky responds to Megatron's threat. Dec 26 - Scientists Detect Temporal Energy :NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, California - NASA scientists monitoring their radio telescope network have reported that energies previously identified as temporal in nature have once again begun to surface. The energy spikes have begun to increase in intensity. "The pattern seems to be pointing to a large scale temporal event occurring within the next 48 hours. Previous reports on this phenomenon indicated that there was no impact to any region of the world, but never the less, we are monitoring the situation carefully." Scientists have advised that people remain calm as they anticipate this will pass without incident. Deaths * Vladimir Putin, at Zandar's hand category:2017 Category:IC Years